If you're so crazed
with lust that you think you're ready for a fashionable asylum, YPL
has exactly what you need. Our
Internet Temple of Temporary Commitment
was originally erected by YPL social engineers to give those with
a pressing need a quick way to satisfy their animal urges without
having to put an expensive team of lawyers on retainer. A YPL "voluntary"
Temporary Commitment is available to anyone from any faith tradition
with an Internet connection who desperately desires one, despite their
being universally frowned-upon by church leaders worldwide, whom we
suspect are all just insanely jealous of our cunning linguistic prowess.
Originally intended
to cater to cheating spouses, our services have since become a favorite
with everyone from interspecies lovers to bar-bet losers, partners
confined to separate holding facilities, and those planning to attend
high school, summer camp, and college reunions. And we're especially
proud of our unique ability to assist lovelorn stalkers of all ages,
since our services render the intended object of one's affections
own desires completely irrelevant in the matter.
Solving ordinary
individuals' mental "problems" has never been the goal of
YPL's Internet Temple of Temporary Commitment, and if anyone
actually told you that, well then they're nothing but a big, fat,
stupid fucking liar! The truth is, our one and only goal is to encourage
you to share with the entire wired world those fleeting emotions which
common sense rightly tells one are best kept buried deep, deep inside.
And it's much easier to get a YPL "voluntary"
Temporary Commitment than you can imagine -- no driver's license,
I.D. card, citizenship papers, blood, urine, DNA, breathalyzer, polygraph,
IQ, or Rorschach tests of any sort are required to obtain one.
