when do you want to see naked people yesterday?

 

Welcome... Over the eons a lot of things change; civilizations rise and fall, genera of flora and fauna flourish then go extinct, continents drift aimlessly about the surface of the Earth, and entire galaxies are born and die. Only one thing in our universe remains exactly, precisely, pathetically unchanged: the human need to believe that someone, somewhere, sometime is having much hotter sex than you've ever imagined. Since YPL always gives you exactly what we know you want, once we mastered time travel technology we knew we had to bring you to some of the hottest live sex shows in all of history!

Experts here at YPL think our universe was created long ago in a single rather messy affair they sarcastically refer to as "The Really Big Bang." It was all over in less than a bazillionth of a bazillionth of a nanosecond, but it left the young universe incredibly hot. Quarks, then atomic particles and their swinging antimatter partners appeared, and there was no turning back as they devoured each other on sight, leaving behind a whiff of sizzling energy, space, time, and a few embarrassing little dribbles of ordinary matter.

We like to take advantage of all the voluptuous curves in four-dimensional space-time, tweaking wormholes into time machines by connecting different loci with a soft, velvety throat, then keeping one luscious mouth of the wormhole perfectly still while gyrating the other end. This is done with gravitational attraction, by getting the wormhole all charged up on stimulating electric fields, and sometimes with nothing more than raw animal magnetism. Going back and forth between the stationary mouth and the moving end can get really annoying after a while, but it allows us to plunge our temporal tourists deep down our seductive time tunnel of love.

If you are serious about meeting someone special enough to have survived into adulthood, let us organize a trip for you!. There are no uncomfortable one-on-one "dates" that never seem to work out, no worries about any diseases that can't be cured with a good bleeding, and don't even think about making any kind of emotional or financial commitment! During our special Photo-Safari Trips we even encourage you to take as many photographs you like, since the pictures only last until you try to bring them back with you. We're not exactly sure why this is, but we do know that more than 95% of our clients who visit the past come back without having damaged their DNA at all.

Time travel is the quick and easy way to meet lots of beautiful, sexy women who won't expect you to conform to any modern standards for personal hygiene. Painter's models in particular enjoy frolicking nude, playing out your fantasies, but no matter how much you want to give them a little something extra remember that leaving modern coinage in the past can really screw with the present! Browse museum catalogues and history textbooks to find your dream girl. Hopefully she'll never be able to prove you were there.

These delicous Roman girls can treat you to a night of drinking, dancing and debauchery on the grandest scale imaginable! You will have a chance to meet and mingle with many members of the royal courts, who are all extremely anxious to get some inside information on the future. Once you've passed your limit your personal hostess will probably have to help you to the vomitorium. After that you can pick up a few more girls and boys at the Coliseum, or embark on a midnight stroll under a moonlit sky where you can still see the stars. Whatever you all agree to do together during your stay in Rome is nobody's beeswax, except maybe the Imperial Guard.

	Our whirlwind Orgy Tour includes stops in Egypt, Babylon, Greece, Rome, Paris in the 20s, Plato's Retreat in the 70s, the Assassins Garden of Delights, and a full week in Sodom. Whether you want a simple little voyeuristic night out, kinky mideval Church flagelations, or just the opportunity to spend a wild weekend scaring the heck out of Lord Byron and the Shelleys we offer the best selection of time tours anywhere.
	Watch some of the greatest lovers in history in action! See Cleopatra, Casanova, Caligula, JFK, Solomon, the Marquise de Sade, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (and his lovely wife Wanda,) Aleister Crowley, Catherine the Great, Marie Antoinette, any and all of the Louis Dauphins, or the entire free-loving Bloomsbury gang engaging in perversions far too numerous to list here. You can stay for one, two, or four weeks... party like a madman the entire time... then come back before you even left!

Let us plan your next vacation! How can you possibly resist?
Write us today for details!