Sand foreverno more green grassy tufts on this planet

At Ultimate Zeroscaping we're turning the entire Earth into a desert...

 
Why would any company take on the enormous task of converting the Earth into the largest desert planet in our solar system?

Deep down in our collective unconscious, we know everyone's true secret wish is to live in a vast, arid desert. It's hardwired into the human psyche.  And if you don't believe our staff psychologists, just think about how many movies there are about it, like Star Wars and even Dune. Since no human can ever experience true happiness until we turn our planet into the fantasy desert we all desire, it's vitally important that this process proceed as quickly as possible. Oceans, wildlife, and other people don't really mean anything in the long run. Better to realize this now, stop wasting time, and help make our planet the barren desert world it was always meant to be. It's happening already now, but the process is torturously slow... recent breakthroughs by our scientists have resulted in a top secret "desertification" process that will allow Ultimate Zeroscaping to change the world right before your eyes.

Cities, jungles, will become sand


oh, the simple life
A prime example of
Ultimate Zeroscaping

Survey Results:
Top Reasons why Deserts are Great

1. Like a beach only bigger
2. Fun to walk on barefoot
3. Doesn't smell
4. Sand castles
5. Find treasure by digging
6. Harems 

With the Earth transformed into one big desert, all our dreams will come true. World Peace and many other human goals that have been mere pipe dreams in the past can occur immediately. There will be no more hunger. And our secret process will leave billions of people in awe of how easily our problems can be buried away under a blanket of sand 4 miles deep. This is a true blessing of godly proportions, which can only be brought to you by ULTIMATE ZEROSCAPING.

We urge you to support your local Ultimate Zeroscaping Center. Get rid of your luscious green lawn and build a desert in your backyard. You'll probably notice how your problems will *poof* disappear.
Digital captures from YPL's very own deep space satellite.
Over 670 Bazillion Grains of Sand
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