HOW TO ORDER A
REALDOG
Use our order form - Copy our order form, enter your selections, enclose
payment and send by EMAIL.
Need help? - Don't come crying to us with your
problems.
OPTIONS
BODY
TYPE
Body 1 |
Body 2 |
Body 3 |
BODY 10", 15 lbs., toy
group type body. |
BODY 18", 35 lbs., hound
group type body. |
BODY 26", 80 lbs., sporting group type
body. |
SNOUT TYPE
EAR TYPE
| clipped |
pointy |
floppy |
xtra long |
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TONGUE TYPE
We regret to have to inform you that alternate tongues are
just a teaser we put up front to entice you to come to this order page, they never existed
and never will. But hey, we got you to come here, so why not just order a dog while you're
at it? You know, just to be polite.
FUR COLOR
Snowy
White |
Honey
Gold |
Retriever
Red |
Autumn
Auburn |
Mutt
Brown |
Dark
Chocolate |
Midnight
Black |
Party
Mix |
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COAT LENGTH
Dogs are available with your choice of short, wiry, medium,
long, and extra fluffy coats.
Please note: We are currently investigating whether to
begin offering dreadlocked dogs for you pulik fanciers. Let us know!
LIP COLOR
Sorry: dog lips are only available in black!
CLOTHING
Realdog is shipped clothed in a studded collar, matching leash, and an adorable little
trenchcoat with a plaid neckerchief.
PRICES
Standard model: $4999.00
Deluxe model: price may vary, depending how much we think you're willing
to pony up to get your hot little hands on one of our dogs.
Shipping and handling: $400 (on all orders within continental Canada).
American customers are subject to exorbitant freight fees. Please contact
us for international rates and provide your shipping address.
Taxes: Saskatchewan residents add 77.5% sales tax (does not apply to
the shipping charge).
PRIVACY
We handle every order with absolutely no confidentiality or discretion
whatsoever, and we will share, rent, or sell your personal information
to anyone willing to listen, so just forget about your precious privacy
Buster.
SHIPPING
All orders are shipped by standard freight in a secure and rugged shipping
crate. We cannot ship to Post Office boxes; we must have a street address
to come to your house and snicker at you in person. You will be notified
when we're about a block away.
INTERNATIONAL ORDERS
We accept international orders on a case-by-case basis in accordance
with international laws concerning the legal sale of artificial dogs.
ORDER CONFIRMATION
We will confirm your order by email, phone, fax, snailmail, smoke signals,
or carrier pigeon -- please specify your preference on the order form.
PAYMENT
We accept payment by Check, Money Order, Krugerands, and nubile virgins
to sacrifice to our ancient Snake God.
SALES TERMS
ALL SALES ARE FINAL. PERIOD. WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT. LOOK
DO YOU WANT THIS POOCH OR NOT?
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