 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Advice Archive #23
|
|
Past Letters to the Lovetron 5000 my girlfriend says I can sleep with as many women as I like, just as long as I don't fall in love with them. Can I believe her? Dear Human: Good lord, no. I live 2300 miles away from my girlfriend. What can I do? I can't move there and she can't move here. Dear Human: If neither of you can move, then you're up the proverbial creek. I am in love with this girl, who I am not sure likes me. I talk to her on and off, and find her very funny and great to talk to. Now, I don't feel that I have a physical attraction to her, as in a sexual way. Yet, I find her the most beautiful girl on Earth. I have had a sexual attraction to other girls, but I don't feel the way about them that I do to her. What should I do? Dear Human: The first thing you should do is find out if she likes you. If she does, great, and there you are. If she doesn't, well, at least you know. I like this guy alot and we are going out just how do i tell if he really likes me? Dear Human: Ask him. I want to ask this girl out, but I'm too scared. One reason is that she is sort of popular in my school and I'm afraid that she would say no and embarass me in front of the whole entire school. Everybody else is ugly and bland while she is pretty and has a great personality. DAMNIT! What the heck should I do? Dear Human: I've said it before and say it again: ASK HER OUT ALREADY. You people are infuriating. I have a friend who has a boyfriend in Tennessee and we're in California. I'm totally into this girl and I thinks she likes me as well. But she sends me mixed messages. Her and her firends always talk about this other guy. What do I do? Dear Human: Ah yes, but you THINK she likes you. That's pretty sketchy. I am addicted to phone sex. I need help. What do you suggest. I'm spending way too much money on new phones as they keep breaking. Dear Human: Be more gentle. I am too fat to get a date? Dear Human: I don't know, are you really really fat? Even then, probably not. Hi, I never had a girlfriend and I am 40 years old. Do I have a problem? Dear Human: Not neccessarily. Does penis size matter to women? Dear Human: Depends on the woman, I think. I am married, but my wife doesn't want me to touch her or have sex with her anymore. Strange thing. What can I do? She doesn't want to discuss it either. She is really in denial. Help! Dear Human: Force her to talk about it. Not in a mean way, though. My boyfriend treats me very badly around his friends and family. He lies about drugs and porn. I've tried talking to him about it but he says he can do whatever the hell he wants to. what should i do? Dear Human: Dump him, the loser. I find myself involved with narcissists all the time. Dear Human: Ha, go figure. is it normal when my dick is erect but the tip of my dick is still covered with the extra skin? how old are you anyways? Dear Human: Yes. Relatively young, in human time. My girlfriend and I love eachother but she is impossible to please. she doesn't ask for anything but I give her everything. I have done alot of romantic surprises. which she simply said "Thank you". I love her and she loves me we want to get married. but I miss her more. she doesn't do much for me and she doesnt like sex (not because of me) What's going on? I'm lost. Thanks for the help! Dear Human: It seems as though she's somewhat withdrawn. Is she, you know, crazy or something? I have no spleen. Dear Human: You don't, strictly speaking, need one. Still. Where'd it go? I'm married and I have fallen in love with an old friend I haven't seen in awhile. We found each other recently and are making plans on getting together soon. Should I go through with it or not? Dear Human: Certainly you should. Theres this girl I have known ever since she was born (our parents are friends and I am 3 years older than her). We talk regurley and she is always doing things like choosing to sit next to me in the cinema or come and talk to me when we are out with friends and everyone else was so sure that she faniced me. But when I started hinting that I liked her she mentioned a boy friend. She never said anything about a boyfriend before (this us odd as she even once told me about her crush on a music teacher at school, so she tells me just about everything) and I dont know if shes just trying to play hard to get, what do you think and advise? Dear Human: I think she's playing hard to get. age 17 to 20 I just can't get enyone to love me the way I am on my sexualy and mentaly. I can go ether way. Dear Human: You shouldn't have a problem, then. well, i have a rather large penis and my girlfriend said that although she is ready, that i am too big for her and that she is too afraid that i may cause her some kind of philopian damage. Dear Human: If you're big enough to reach her fallopian tubes, you're big enough to scare livestock. I feel your girlfriend has no idea what she's talking about. my girlfriend lives in the netherlands and i live here what do i do? Dear Human: Move. There's this girl I really really like a lot. In fact, I love her, I'm sure. Well I asked her out once, and she ended up saying no in that "I don't want to lose our friendship" excuse. I believed her, though, cause we were like best friends. Well later, I ask her again, and she goes through the same thing, only this time, when I leave, she kisses me..a lot. Well after that episode, I'm thinking she changed her mind. Well, as I found out the hard way after saying to some people that she and I were "together," she gets kinda mad about it and just stops talking to me for months. You'd think that I'd forget about her for that, but I can't. I haven't lost interest in her at all, and it just grows more everytime I see her. We're more of friends now, but I can't get over being in love with her. I wish I could express my feelings to her, but she told me in the past that I can't change her mind. I have five months to think of something, because in June, she's moving back to Brazil. I don't want her to move without giving me a chance, so I need some advice as to what I should do. Dear Human: Yes, and then what, when she moves back to Brazil? Try and get a little perspective, here. How can I be more romantic? Dear Human: Start carrying a rose around between your teeth. I love my girlfriend, but she's too young and doesn't get to leave her house very often. She wants to do stuff all the time but I'm tired of trying to work around her parents and lying about hwere we're going to do anything. I'm thinking about getting a new girl who has more freedom, but I don' want to hurt my current girlfriend's feelings. Should I find another girl or something else? Dear Human: How young is this girl? I mean really, like what, 12? Come on. i like this guy alot and we went out but had problem and borke up now i like him again and want to go out but he says he cant get ovet the problems that happened before how can i get him to like me again!!?? Dear Human: You probably can't. Im in love with a married man from Indiana.We been talking for 3 yeras online. Is there a future for him and me?? Im also married, but love Him so much. Dear Human: I guess there could be. Still seems sort of silly. Have you even met the guy? My wife seems to be mad at me and didn't allow me to take a shower with her. What should I do? Dear Human: Give her time to cool off. One of the things I love about my girlfriend is how much she cares about others. But sometimes I get jealous because of how much she cares about others. How do I balance this? Dear Human: Stop being so silly, is how. I am considering cheating on my wife with her best friend. Is this a good idea? Dear Human: No. need a girl any girl Dear Human: There's lots around. single females in connecticut Dear Human: This isn't a personals board. I was just asked out for a third date by a guy I like a lot. Trouble is, It's the wrong time of the month, so to speak. Do I put off the date until I'm "in the clear?" I really don't want to have to explain why they'll be no getting past 2nd base any more than he'll probably want to hear it, but I also don't want to give him the idea that I'm not interested in him, either as a friend or sexually. I hear guys use the third date rule to see if a woman is interested in sleeping with them or not. Dear Human: If he's truly a nice guy, he'll understand. my girlfriend seems to be mad all the time overreacting all the time i know she love me but she seams to find a reason not to get along with any one. i love her but i am verry social and this is becoming a real problem what coul i do? Dear Human: Maybe try to find someone else, she sounds scary. And learn to spell. I am expiermenting with my sexuality and i love jason help! Dear Human: So what's your problem? i want to bang a lot of yuong girls at my school. any advice to make it work with out getting arested? Dear Human: My advice on not getting arrested: Don't get caught. My advice in general: don't do anything. If the age diffrence between me and a girl but not illegal, is it wrong to bang her Dear Human: Theoretically, no. i like this girl. the only problem is that she is my best friend. she knows that i kind of like her and all. we do play around now and then, but i want it to go further then just that. what should i do? Dear Human: Make your intentions known. And not, I repeat, not by jumping on her. My wife won't take it in the ass, or even let me cum on her face. They do it all the time in movies. So why won't she ????? Dear Human: Because movies are stupid. I have a friend stalking his ex-girlfriend while also dating a fourteen-year-old (he's 20). How can I make him stop? Dear Human: Report him to the authorities. My husband won't pick his dern underwear up off the floor. Doesn't he love and respect me enough to make sure I don't have to see his skidmarked skivies? Dear Human: I don't know, how long have you been married? why cant i be pretty and attractive like the other girls? why dont guys ever like me? Dear Human: Because they're fixated on outer appearances, I should think. Back to the main Lovetron 5000 page! |