 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Advice Archive #17
|
|
Past Letters to the Lovetron 5000 I've liked this girl who is one of my best friends for awhile, but found out that she doesn't like me in the same way. Anyways, I've started to like her sister, but I don't know if it would be a slimeball thing to do if I were to pursue her sister given that I had just revealed that I liked her, and that she is my best friend. What do you think? Dear Human: Sort of slimeball, yes. I am single, and can't find the "right" person. Dear Human: Stop looking for the "right" person, then, and look for the right person. lovetron i'm paranoid - and it drives my boyfriend nuts. how can i relax and stop thinking that every other girl is out to steal him away from me? Dear Human: Well you know you have a problem - that's the first step to defeating it. Is the Mormon Church the key to finding a successful romantic relationship leading to a successful marriage? Dear Human: Theoretically. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half. I am totally in love with him and there are very few things I would change about him if I could. My main problem is that growing up, he didn't have a good relationship with his father. His father... to this day... is a bitter, rude and selfish man and they have very little contact. My boyfriend and his 3 brothers all have some temper problems, which I believe comes from the father. For instance, they freak over little things... one day my boyfriend was looking for a shirt in our apartment, and couldn't find it... and when he finally realized I had hung it up in the closet for him (which was the last place he looked), he went to put deodorant on... and when he tried to put it away, it fell on the ground. Already being agitated with not being able to find the shirt and being late to a meeting, he picks up the deodorant and throws it across the room and it busts all over the carpet while yelling obscenities. I know this is also a little bit of a male g ender thing (not to mention that he is currently in med school and always stressed), but I wonder if I need to stress to him that he needs to find a way to calm down a little bit and not let the little things in life get to him so much. Also, what would be a good way to bring this up? Dear Human: Say to him, "Guess what I got you for your birthday! Anger management classes!" I have tryed to get this lad in my yar to notice me! Hes called Jonathan Dodsworth and i think hes the most sexiest boy iv'e seen in Brayton! Please help loveatron as i have no where else to turn! Dear Human: Two words: strip tease. i beleive striptease is one word as shown. unless in the future the dictionary is changed.. lets compramise with a hyphonation.. strip-tease Dear Human: Deal. I have become comfotable in my marriage of 11 years. This is not sitting well with my wife. We tend to have more frequent arguments about how I don't show her how much I love her anymore. I do love her and I want to show her I just don't think about having to show her. Am I wrong for acting this way? Dear Human: Sort of. You could at least try. My girlfriend is having her birthday next week. Do you have any ideas for birthday surprise? Dear Human: Buy her a sexual appliance. That would surprise anyone, I think. Except hookers. Why does a wife need to talk so much about her issues over & over again? How can I be a better listener? Dear Human: I think your wife talks over her issues so much because you're not listening, you putz. there is this great girl who I really like, yet I am afraid to ask her out. I she worth it? Dear Human: Sure. Go for it. have trouble making conversationwith girls Dear Human: Come up with a list of conversation topics. That way you'll always have something to talk about. Don't let her see the list, though. vreau mai mult! Dear Human: Same to you. LoveTron 5000, do you have a girlfriend??? If so, what do you like to do with her??? Dear Human: No, I don't. She would be electrocuted. i have never had a relationship with a girl before i don't know if it's me or them. hmm.. Dear Human: Maybe it's you and them. Am I the only male who thinks anal sex is distiguisting? Also should I choose the attractive one who is really stupid or the intelligant one whos a bit of a woofer! Oh yeah their names are Kirsty and Charlotte if that helps! Dear Human: Choose the intelligent one, you'll appreciate it in the long run. Also: learn to spell. This really hot looking girl got here tongue pierced and I am attracted to her. What should I do? Dear Human: Are you attracted to her or to her tongue piercing? Hey lovetron, do you want to make out? Dear Human: No. You would be electrocuted. Can't get her to come back to me. Dear Human: Then stop trying. I'm gay and i like this guy and he likes me but i dont feel im ready for a relationship what should i do? Dear Human: Talk it over with him. He'll probably understand, if television's portrayals of gay men are anything to go by. i am gay and i cant find a nice gay guy to have a relationship with. where can i meet a nice gay guy? Dear Human: San Francisco. Should i tell the one i am dating i love her, and i really do? and when? Dear Human: Yes. Right now. Also: grammar slammer. well I'm going out with someone now...but I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend but he won't go back out with me and if he does well then I have another problem. Dear Human: You should try and get over him, then. The whole idea of going out with someone should indicate that you like that person. There is this girl that I really like, but she is engaged to someone else. Should I try to steal her away or am I wasting my time? Dear Human: You are wasting your time. Lovetron, I'm obsessed with sex. I'm a reasonably attractive male, but all I want to do is get it on. Should I quell my urges in a relationship or just go all willy nilly and sleep with everyone I know? Dear Human: Going all willy-nilly may seem attractice now, but who'll be laughing when you're finished and you discover you've got crabs or something? I've liked this guy for two years, and I told him about it last year. He's never said or done anything to indicate to me that he doesn't feel the same way, in fact, he's actually said that he likes me too, but everytime things get going good between us, something awful happens that prevents us from seeing eachother. Also, he always tells my friends when they ask him if he's going to do anyhting about me that "he isn't the dating type" just recently, however, he has come up with a convenient explanation for why he always says that as well, so I don't know if he's gonna ask me out or what. My question is this: What's with all the mixed signals? Does he really like me, and is just being shy about it? Or is he just stalling and waiting for me to give up on him? I'm not stupid, and I can usually tell when a guy is not interested, but with this guy I've got no clue. Dear Human: It seems to me that he's stalling. If he really likes you he's being pretty apathetic about it. Cut him off. Figuratively, of course. My boyfriend likes to get frisky in the morning when we wake up, but I just can't seem to get in the mood...what can I do?? Dear Human: Say to him, "I'm just not feeling frisky right now, but later I'm going to (insert your choice of acitivity) you until you can't walk." There's a lot of girls that I like but I don't know how to approach them without sounding like a jerk. Dear Human: Well, what you shouldn't do is say this: "Hi, I like a lot of girls and you're one of them. Would you like to go out?" i like a guy, and he likes me back...and he has given me a bracelet and necklace (which i love) and he wants to ask me out, but he's scared...i like him too...but i dont know what to say when he asks me out Dear Human: Hint: say yes. nuffin.. Dear Human: Thanks for that. my boyfriends ex wife keeps calling him she says its for the kid sake but she never talks about the kids.how can i stop her calling .for the record shes a lesbian now Dear Human: Can't the phone company block numbers or something? I live with my boyfriend, but I don't love him anymore, and I am falling in love with a man I chat with online, using my boyfriend's computer. What should I do? Dear Human: You're in a sticky situation. What you should do is make a decision on who you like better and act accordingly. But don't be surprised if your current boyfriend doesn't take it too well. I still love my Ex. She lives in New York with a guy she met over the internet. Im sad. Dear Human: Poor you. I put heat balm on my wiener, and it hurts. How do I make it stop? Dear Human: Stop putting the heat balm on, you dumbass. We've been best friends forever and now he wants to date. It is a good idea? Dear Human: Yes. hi im a guy but my gf o 4 years is a lesbian we want to get married and i dont want her to meet my parents cos she is a lesbian (shame guilt etc) is there any convention that says your partner MUST meet your parents! she seems to think shes entitled to Dear Human: Well, first of all, how are they even going to know she's a lesbian, it's not like they have 'lesbian' written across their foreheads or something, and secondly, what are you doing dating a lesbian anyway? Aren't you just setting yourself up for a fall? I am a young American with a very important question: at what age do you think people should become sexually active? Also, how long should two people know each other before engaging in this activity. Dear Human: Whatever floats your boat. I think I'm a man in a woman's body, and my boyfriend thinks the opposite. What do i do? Dear Human: Have kinky weird sex. Ha ha. Now that's advice I never though I'd give. my willy doesnt work Dear Human: Not at all? For anything? I called an ex to convey my condolences, as her father had just died. I haven't seen this woman in thirty, yes 30 years. During the course of the conversation, she asked me to come over. I had to go, if nothing else just to see what she looked like after 30 years. I was pleasantly surprised. Since then we've tlked on the phone, and exchanged e-mails. We're both divorced, but I guess she's seeing some guy. There still is a spark between us, but I'm wondering if I should pursue this. Most of my human friends are of no help, so what's a guy to do? Dear Human: If you really feel you could make it, you could pursue a new relationship. Keep in mind, though, that you did break up in the first place. I'd like to date this guy, but he lives in another state, very far away. There is no chance we could ever date. Should I try? Dear Human: No, of course not. i really like allie miller and she always has alot of guys that used to like her or she was with on her mind, and i want me to be on her mind, if you know what i mean. how can i get allie miller to go out with me? Dear Human: Ask her. mike dancer is a huge stud and i want his junk so bad. how can i convince him to fuck me on the basketball court during the game? Dear Human: I love it when people say 'junk' as a euphemism for genitalia. well i like this girl HAHA ok russ Dear Human: ... right. my husband is 36 and still a mamas boy. help! Dear Human: Well, there's nothing to be done about it. Other than, say, to say to him, "Stop being such a mama's boy." But I don't think that would work. my weener is small Dear Human: It's probably average, don't worry about it. How do i get my boyfriend to stop fighting with me all the time Dear Human: Ask yourself, "Why are we fighting all the time?" Therein lies the answer. My girlfriend is really really hot, she says she will remain true to me, but I still get worried whenever she does something alone. What is my problem? Dear Human: You're paranoid. I LIKE THIS GUY THAT I WORK WITH, BUT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY AND THEY HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 4 YEARS , I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY ALOT , WHAT SHOULD I DO Dear Human: Don't try and break them up. In fact, stay away from him. It will only end in tears. Back to the main Lovetron 5000 page! |