An Old Fart
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YPL Interview: Jamie Minuets An Old Fart |
Once in a great while, we here at YPL find a person so interesting, so valuable to the community, so absolutely mad, that we feel we must interview them. Jamie Minuets is once of these men. Born in 1895 in Dubuque, Iowa, Mr. Minuets started his life in the same humble way he always loved to live it. On a craps table of the Riverboat Casino 'Florida'. His father was a Card Shark, his mother a whore. Yet Mr. Minuets turned this stuttered start around, until he became one of the most famous centenarians still alive today. Begining his career with Burlesque shows and prostitution, Jamie found a way to turn this into a New York City modeling career creating Propoganda during World War I, and service to our country in the Naval Air Service during World War II. What we know of Mr. Minuets today is mostly thanks to his early work on the Old Peoples Buyer's Club. Jamie saw early on the potential for tapping this market, and today himself, is not only the founder of the Old People's Buyer's Club. He's also a product. |
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YPL: Mr. Minuets, thanks for talking to us today. We know you have a fairly hectic schedule, and we appreciate the time you're giving us. JM: Who're you? YPL: I'm the interviewer from YPL. You're Probably Lost. JM: I'm lost? YPL: No, Mr. Minuets...Uh...Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? |
| JM:
Where am I? YPL: Uh...In your house. Mr. Minuets you've lived quite an extraordinary life. JM: She's dead. YPL: Pardon? JM: My wife. She's dead. Died back in 1965 from gangrene. |
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JM: Where am I? YPL: Uh...In your house. Mr. Minuets you've lived quite an extraordinary life. JM: She's dead. YPL: Pardon? JM: My wife. She's dead. Died back in 1965 from gangrene. |
| YPL:
She died from gangrene? I didn't know that still happened. JM: 'Course it happened. Don't you think I'd know if my own wife were dead or not? YPL: I'm sure you would. JM: I don't appreciate name calling young man. And who are you anyway? |
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YPL: Uh. So you were part of the war
effort back in World War One? JM: Yup. We won that one. Next one two. Don't they teach this stuff in school these days? YPL: No. Mr Minuets, I meant... JM: Interupting Well they should. |
| YPL: Um. So you were a crossdresser
back in those days eh? I never realized all those old pictures were of men. JM: Do you have any pot? YPL: Pardon? JM: Pot. Ganja. Weed. My back is actin' up again and that shit really helps it. |
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YPL: Sure hold on... Our interviewer proceeded to fire up his bowl, the two smoked for a few minutes, then continued the interview. YPL: Giggling. So you dressed up like women? JM: Giggling. Yup. Real sexy like. Course it woulda been improper to have some woman do it |
| so they got me to come in and wear a wig,
and these false bossoms. YPL: Giggling. Anyone ever hit on you? JM: Giggling. All the time. Course I only did Navy guys back then. YPL: So you're gay or bisexual then? Not just a crossdresser? JM: The couch. YPL: What? |
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JM: Across the dresser is the couch. YPL: Lets get back to these Navy guys. JM: Who are you? Where am I? YPL: I"m from YPL. JM: Personally I urinate twice daily. |
| YPL: So you like Navy men
then? JM: No never met him. YPL: Mr. Minuets... JM: I always liked the Naval boys though. So prim and proper. Clean in their white starched outfits. We'd go back to my place and fuck like wild monkeys. It was quite exciting. |
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YPL: Laughing. So you later
joined the Navy cause of that? JM: You bet! Navy boys pack it the best. Plus I got to crash lots of planes into the water. YPL: You mean fly them right? JM: You could fly them right, or left, up or down. They're planes. Ain't you ever seen a plane? Anyways. I crashed three different planes. Navy let me go after the third one. |
| YPL: So what did you do then? JM: Well I wanted to join the space program after the war and then go to the moon. They wouldnt' let me though. YPL: So you never went to the moon? Was that your lifelong dream? JM: My wife had a long beam? What exactly do you mean by that you whippersnapper? YPL: No dream. Dream. |
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JM: Course I dream, you fool.
Wouldn't be human if I didn't. YPL: Uh. Ok. The two smoked another joint. YPL: Laughing hysterically. And then the bitch says, get this "I would, but I've never fucked a penguin! Laughing. JM: What are you talking about, son? Who? |
| YPL: Laughing and crying. Oh
god. JM: Nah, never went to church. Don't believe in that crap. YPL: Can you believe that she said that to me in front of my parents? Laughing JM: Where am I? Who are you? |
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YPL: Mr. Minuets, you're in your house. I'm interviewing you for You're Probably Lost, a humor web site, we're all quite proud of. JM: No. The microwave is working fine. YPL: No, Mr. Minuets I'm not here to fix the microwave. Like I said I'm here to interview you. JM: Why should I fix the microwave. It's your damn job so fix it. YPL: I thought you said the microwave was working fine? JM: Yes it is. Which begs the question what are you doing here? Who are you? YPL: Thanks for your time Mr. Minuets. It's been a real pleasure. JM: No, sorry, can't spare any. |
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