Kill Your Friend... Seriously.

| Intro | Facts | What You Can Do | Current World Population | Contact | YPL |
| Intro | Facts | What You Can D(external link)
| Contact | YPL |


YPL's roots are in satire, sarcasm, and general all around snottiness. By implementing this strong form of humor we hope to better not only ourselves, but all of mankind. We believe it is our uniquely warped outlook which forces people take a good look their lives, their surroundings, their friends, and their wardrobe choices from an external perspective. However, some issues are too grim for satire. Some issues are so important that serious action must be taken. The issue at hand is the Earth's swelling population.

Back to top


World population numbers are projected to double from 6 to 12 billion in less than 50 years. The annual rate of increase has declined only slightly from 1.7% to 1.5% (PRB 1985, 1995)

Per capita food production has been declining for the past 15 years. Cropland losses during the past 40 years due to erosion and urbanization have been approximately 33% and this loss continues (Pimentel et al. 1995)

From 40 to 50 % of potential terrestrial net primary productivity is used directly, co-opted, or forgone because of human activities (Vitousek et al. 1986, Pimentel et al. submitted) Approximately 1,400 liters of water are needed to produce 1 kg of grain. Given that 54 % of the geographically and temporally accessible water is already being used by humans (Postel et al. 1996), water may soon become a limiting resource in many parts of the world.

Oil is a nonrenewable resource that is rapidly being depleted. Per-capita energy use has increased 93-fold from 1860 to 1991, human population quadrupled during this time (Cohen 1995b).

A large amount of fossil energy (about 1,000 liters of oil equivalents) is required to produce a hectare of grain using Green Revolution technology (Pimentel and Pimentel 1996).

Combined population growth and environmental degradation is resulting in increasing serious infectious diseases like AIDS and cholera (WHO 1992)

Rates of species extinction are currently 100 to 1000 times greater than before humans as a direct result of human populations and resource use. This is true for many well known and taxonomically diverse groups across the globe (Pimm et al. 1995). Extinction will directly affect humans. For example, approximately one-third of world food crops are pollinated by bees, but bee populations are on the decline (Pimentel et al. submitted).

The worlds ecosystems are worth US$16-54 trillion per year (Costanza et al. 1997)

Cited Works
Back to top

What You Can Do:

Simple. Kill Your friend. We know it may seem a bit harsh, but consider the facts. Someone HAS to go. If people start killing people blindly for say the next 5 years, our population should go back to a bearable level, at which point we reinstate the the murder law. If everyone in the world right now picked up a gun, and killed a friend, family member, or just started with those damn bus drivers I think we'd be much better off. We realize that loved ones are important, but it's the only fair solution. Eliminating entire countries and their peoples would not work. There would be a lot of protests about how unfair it was that said country was picked. And then said country would say "Well, why not this other country instead." You can see just how tedious that could get.

No. That wouldn't work at all. The best solution is your random killing.

If you are serious about this, then we ask you to take the YPL: Kill Your Friend Pledge. Just repeat the following line aloud and you become an instant member.

I <your name> do hereby promise to commit a random act of murder every day.

That's it. Nothing more. Just make sure it is a random murder, (i.e.., do not kill based on race, religion, gender, etc.)

Feel free to contact us if you have any questions. Thank you.

Back to top

YPL standard disclaimer: For Entertainment Purposes only!