Cornboy YPL Interview: Cornboy
and His Power Rocket

What can we say about Cornboy and his Power Rocket. I mean really? When we here at YPL were approached by Cornboy's mother Mildred Pierce to speak with her son, we were somewhat dubious. Once meeting this strange child, we here at YPL had a change of heart. Born in Dubuque, Iowa in 1995, this once timid youngster became possesed in a Disneyesque event which led him to creating his best friend, Power Rocket. We were lucky enough to catch up with Cornboy and Power Rocket outside their small home, in the backyard sandbox.

The Power Rocket

YPL: Hi there, are you Ryan?

Cornboy: I'm Cornboy!!! CORNBOY!!!! MOOOOMMMM, TELL THEM I'M CORNBOY!!!!

YPL: Sorry, Cornboy. What are you doing there in the sand?

Cornboy: I'm fixin my power rocket, see? Cornboy holds up his 10 inch plastic rocket.

YPL: Wow, that's a mighty powerful rocket you've got there Cornboy!

Cornboy: Yeah. Power Rocket and I are best friends. We're from another planet! We're gonna go back there as soon as we get more sand! Begins to stuff sand in the plastic rocket.

YPL: Wait. You're from Mars???

Cornboy: Speaking quietly to the rocket. You're my bestest friend in the world Power Rocket.

YPL: Cornboy?

Cornboy: I like Ice Cream. So does Power Rocket.

Freaky eh?

Look Ma..No Hands!!!

YPL: Cornboy, I just heard you say something to your rocket.

Cornboy: My mommy lets me have 1 bowl if I finish all my green beans at dinner. I don't like green beans, but Power Rocket does. Giggles.

YPL: You're rocket speaks doesn't it Cornboy? What does it have? Some sort of artifically intelligent computer, bent on enslaving humankind?

Cornboy: Whispering to rocket while continuing to stuff it full of sand. I love you Power Rocket.

YPL: What are your plans? You're here to enslave humankind aren't you??

Cornboy: I want my mommy, you're a scary man.

YPL: Grabbing Cornboy by the arms. Listen you little Maggot! I know who you are. I know your plans. You can't fool us anymore. Begins to choke Cornboy. Die monster, die!

Cornboy: Mommy! Mommy! Gags and goes limp.

YPL: Die you alien scum. Cuts Cornboy's throat with a pocket knife.

Cornboy's Mother: Running out from house. Oh my god! What've you done, you sick monster! Ryan!?! RYAN?!?! HE WAS JUST A CHILD!!!! HOW COULD YOU!?!?

Oh yeah baby, I'm gonna get some!

Given the recent execution by the state of Iowa of our chief interviewer, YPL Interviews has a job opening. If you feel you can help us in our task of interviewing interesting people for the YPL readers drop us a line and we'll send out our all new psychological screening profile for you to take.