Automaton Dominion Products
Legal Minutiae
1. Automaton Dominion Products (ADP) guarantees only that the parts you have ordered for your robot army will be delivered to your front door from our warehouses, undamaged. All harm incured upon them from carelessness, weathering and human error after their delivery is not the liability of ADP.
2. Failure to properly follow the instructions included with each ADP product instantly voids your warranty and may result in death and/or serious injury. ADP is not liable for these injuries, nor can ADP be brought to suit in any legal actions if this were to occur.
3. If ADP's products, once assembled, destroy any property/family members/pets, this is not the responsibility of ADP, although the faulty item will be replaced by ADP completely free of charge. Shipping charges apply.
4. ADP maintains its own highly advanced robot army, and so assault on the offices, employees of ADP, or their families, is an action that is ill-advised and will result in the cancellation of your ADP account and the destruction of all that you hold dear with extreme prejudice.
5. ADP invoices are sent out on the 20th of every month. To avoid payment without a special dispensation from our finances department is to incur the wrath of ADP's robot army. Repeated failure to pay ADP for its services and merchandise will result in your extermination.
6. We accept personal checks, money orders, gold bullion, shielded uranium, and Visa.
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